First Night at Oxford

The easiest form of Elder Mentoring is telling stories

Happy Labor Day to my American readers, and Happy Birthday to my son, who was born in Oxford on the first day of the school year and whose birthday has been associated with many first days since then. Before I begin the tutorial newsletters, I want to take you back in time and explain a few things about Oxford.

Do You Remember Your First Night in College?

Two weeks after my high school graduation in 1971, my family dropped me off at a dormitory at Michigan State University. My roommate Pat was a last-term senior, who was not thrilled to be mentoring a freshman. She left and I stepped into the shower. When I came out, it was eerily quiet (Midwesterners know what that means). There wasn’t a sound in the hall. It was probably the first time I was ever alone. The door flung open and out-of-breath Pat shouted, “Tornado! Get to the basement!” Of course, it missed us. Safely back in the room, she asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint. I did not know anyone in my high school who smoked marijuana, so it was new to me. “Yeah, this is going to fun,” she smiled and nodded. This is a classic mentoring story: the mentor is initially reluctant; the novice gets into a dangerous situation from which the mentor rescues her (thus, winning her trust); the mentor starts introducing the novice to new things (not always in the mentee’s best interest).

Waiting to Hear

Fifteen years later, I entered graduate school at Oxford. I am going to tell this story using quotations from the letters that I sent to my Mom in 1986 because otherwise you might think that I have been influenced by J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter (she graduated from the University of Exeter that year). The stuff in square brackets was not in the original letter.

“I received a letter from Oxford yesterday. They will make a decision on my application on April 28th. There are two steps in the process. First, the English Dept. Faculty must accept my application. Second, one of the colleges [think of this as Houses] must accept me. Oxford consists of 35 colleges (similar to residence halls) with 100–500 people in each college. Most people choose their colleges, but I decided to let the Admissions Office choose mine. These are the colleges that they chose for me [using the Sorting Hat]: University College, New College, Keble, St. Catherine’s. I feel optimistic that I will be accepted, but I’m starting to worry about where I will come up with the money to go. I will need:

£3,310  University fees

£1,340  College fees

£3,350  Maintenance

£8,000 

Converted to [dollars] $1.40 = £1.00  $11,200 [per year, includes tuition and living expenses].”

Map of Keble College, Oxford. http://www.cse.dmu.ac.uk/COMPSAC/oxford/map.html

Traveling to Oxford

“I arrived in Oxford via Reading from Gatwick Airport by rail [Hogwarts Express]. I could see the scenery on both sides of the train, but couldn’t decide which to choose. On the left, there was a small creek meandering through grassy green bottomland, feeding single perfectly formed spreading trees. On the right, the uplands rose gently to upper pastures, cultivated perpendicular to the slope, harvested to a neat stubble. When in England, I always feel the tension between the shepherd’s staff and the plow.

I arrived at the Porter’s Lodge at Keble College at 6:00 p.m. on Thursday, October 2. I was twelve hours later than expected because I had been delayed on the ground until 12:30 a.m. in Minneapolis. The plane I was to fly on was grounded because of mechanical problems and they had to find a different plane. [Back then, you received a printed menu of the in-flight food. There was a single movie screen at the front of the cabin and everyone watched the same movie at the same time.] It was dinner time when the Porter brought me to my room. The woman across the hall, Karen, a slightly crippled theology student from Bryn Mawr, took me to dinner and charged it to her Buttery bill.”

[I need to explain a few things here. Keble has a number of buildings (library, dining hall, chapel, three common rooms, rooms for the tutors, residence halls, and the Warden’s house) and several gardens, all enclosed by either buildings or walls. The Porter’s Lodge is next to the gate, so that he can control who comes into college. There were few security cameras then. The gate is locked at dark, and students let themselves in by using a wicket key that opens the small door (see Keble College gate). The Buttery is a cellar in the Middle Common Room that contains alcohol, snacks, and candy, which students could buy on an honor system of recording it on your Buttery bill (a ledger), which would be paid at the end of term. However, I should have said Battels (not Buttery) because the Battels bill was for accommodation and meals. There are three eight-week terms at Oxford called Michaelmas, Hilary, and Trinity. I arrived during “nought week” or 0th week, which is the week before term starts.]

Dining Hall, Keble College, Oxford. https://www.flickr.com/photos/docsearls/847845542

First Dinner at the Dining Hall

“The Dining Hall was quite dark; the only lamps were the small electric table lamps, which gave off a small quantity of light like candles set out along the board. The high ceiling could barely be discerned. About fifteen people were seated at a single table along one side of the room. From the outer door of the dining hall, one had the impression of entering a dark clearing and joining people who were seated around a bonfire. At closer range, one could see that the table had long benches on both sides and had been set with silver and glasses, closely placed down the length of the table. Intermittently, there were pitchers of water and a glass full of napkins. You sit down at the next empty place at the table and the water and napkins move down accordingly as people arrive. Once seated, a young man in a clean white shirt served me a plate of food from the right. (The proper way to serve is from the left—clearing from the right.) This, by the way, should give you some idea of the social class of Keble College. [Unless, like driving on the left, the English do the opposite.] I have not met anyone wealthy, although I believe there is a prince living two stairways down from me. Getting back to my story—  The plate was heaped full of food—meat pie (chunks of beef in a thick gravy with a flakey crust on top), parsley potatoes, carrots, and peas—but there was no choice in the matter. While I ate in silence, the others were asking hundreds of questions about how various aspects of the college worked. I realized that dinner was an important part of the orientation process: the chief source of information about college and university life.

You could easily discern the North Americans at the table. They are eating with forks in right hand. They are in the majority at the table—having arrived earlier than the others [Michaelmas term starts around October 10; graduate students are allowed to arrive early]. After you finish eating, the waiter removes your plate and serves dessert, which was chocolate mousse. (The total cost of the dinner was £1.16 or about $1.75.) When dessert was served, I asked if it was possible to get a coffee. An American from Penn State replied no, then added, ‘That’s the first question I could answer all night.’ The other North Americans laughed in a way that established a sort of cultural communitas at the table. Then someone explained that they all go down to the Middle Common Room (MCR) [a graduate student lounge within the college walls] after dinner to have a cup of coffee.”

[This dinner was actually quite informal. Once the term started, we had to wear black gowns like those in Harry Potter, stand as the Dons (professors) walked in procession to the High Table, then a Latin grace would be read. A first course of soup was added to the meal, and more lights were turned on. Dinner started at 7:00 and was announced by the ringing of a bell at 6:55—at which point, you would see people running from all points toward the dining hall, putting on their gowns as they ran, because no one was admitted to the Dining Hall after the Dons had taken their seats. On Sundays, we were invited to the Chaplain’s room for a glass of sherry before dinner.]

What Do You Remember about Your First Night at College?

I would love to hear some stories in the comments section. Did anyone mentor you or show you around? Did you meet your best college friend on the first day? Did the room meet your expectations? How did it feel to be away from home for the first time?