During the month when I was without internet, I started reading Kindle books. I hasten to add that this was not my Kindle. It was a gift to my son when he was a young teenager from his father. To provide a beneficial reading diet, I downloaded free books of the classic sort (ones you would find on Charles Eliot’s Five-Foot Shelf). As is often the case when family members upgrade, I became the recipient of the outdated technology.
I started reading a book that I did not recall downloading though it sounded like something I would read: Poise: How to Attain It (1916) by D. Starke, translated by Francis Medhurst. To put this self-help book in context, the WWI Battle of the Somme took place in 1916. By the time the Somme campaign ended, the number of combined casualties exceeded one million. The stated purpose of the book is “to help mankind to overcome these weaknesses, which are a serious impediment to mental development, and hinder the personal advancement and general progress.” However, the chapter title “War on Timidity” suggests that poise is not what we commonly think it is today. Starke defines poise as “a quality which enables us to judge of our own value, and which, in revealing to us the knowledge of the things of which we are really capable, gives us at the same time the desire to accomplish them.”
The Author Assumes That the Book Will Only Be Read by Men
“The man who wishes to walk in such a place without coming to harm will, first of all, make a careful study of the ground for the purpose of avoiding the traps and pitfalls that may engulf him or wound him as he passes.” At some point, I began to laugh at myself. Why should an older woman read about how to be a better man? Unless, that is, I still need to learn how to distinguish a poised man from a timid loser or insecure braggart (no comments from my friends).
Modesty That Has Long Been Considered a Virtue Is a Fault
“Modesty is generally nothing more than a screen behind which conscious ineptitude conceals itself. . . . The attitude of trying to keep one’s actions from becoming known is not a laudable one and can only be adopted as the result of a philosophy of inaction. What treasures of knowledge would have remained unknown to us if all the scientists and all the men of genius had made a practice of modesty. . . . The man who boasts of his modesty will feel no shame at producing nothing.” This is for me the most important takeaway of the book; we should examine and challenge all our virtues to be sure that we are not hiding behind them.
Timidity Is Extremely Dangerous
“The man who was at the outset no more than timid, easily becomes transformed first into a misanthrope, then into a monomaniac tortured by a thousand physical inhibitions, such as the inability to hold a pen, to walk unaccompanied across an open space, to ride in a public conveyance, etc.” Starke does not provide the hard evidence that current self-help books are wont to do. However, he does compare how a timid man crosses the street with how a poised man does it.
“The mere crossing of a street becomes, for the nervous man, an ever-recurring source of torment. He is afraid to go forward at the proper moment, takes one step ahead and another back, . . . [he] takes so long to make up his mind that the opportunity of crossing is past before he has seized it. Or again he may suddenly rush forward, without any regard for the danger to which he is exposed, hesitating suddenly when in the way of the vehicles that threaten him, and quite incapable of slipping past them.”
Whereas, the poised man, “aided by his will-power and by confidence in his judgment,” waits for the moment there is an opening. “Then with muscles tense and wits collected, he starts, and whether he darts ahead here, or glides adroitly there, he threads his way through the traffic and reaches his goal without having suffered an accident.” We can only hope from this description that vehicles in question were not cars.
Exercises to Acquire Poise
Starke’s suggestions are surprisingly similar to ones found in contemporary self-help books. Breathing: “lie down on one’s back and breathe deeply with the mouth closed and nostrils dilated” (nose breathing). Eye training: “The man who is in earnest about acquiring poise must be on his guard against betraying himself under the magnetism of someone else’s gaze. . . . The timid are quite unable to endure it. They stammer, lose their presence of mind, and finally reveal everything they are asked to tell.” Motion and carriage: “One should endeavor to expand the chest as far as possible, while throwing back the head and extending the arms” (power stance). Speaking exercises: “Every morning . . . open the mouth as wide as one possibly can and then shut it . . . until one becomes fatigued. This exercise is designed to cover the well-known difficulty of those who speak infrequently and which is familiarly known as ‘heavy jaw.’”
Other exercises include affirmations, daily self-examination, resolutions (“ideas imprest upon the mind at the moment that one is falling asleep develop during the night”), preparation (“it is a good thing every morning to map out one’s day”), and thoughts of success (“one must believe that one can do it”).
Conclusion
If all of this has not convinced you of the desirability of acquiring poise, then I will share another of Starke’s anecdotes. There was a man who was so lacking in poise that he lost his job! When he went in to see his boss, he became so rattled that he forgot to leave his umbrella in the outer office.
“It was an extremely wet day, and the unfortunate man, instead of being able to plead his cause effectively, became hopelessly embarrassed at perceiving his mistake, the results of which, it is needless to state, were by no means to the benefit of the floor. His despair at the sight of rivulets that, running from his umbrella, spread themselves over the polished surface of the wood, prevented him from thinking of anything but his unpardonable stupidity. . . . he fled from the office of the chief leaving the latter in a high state of irritation. He was replaced by someone else at the first opportunity, on the pretext that the direction of important affairs could no longer be left in the hands of a man of such notorious incapacity.”
“The man who is in earnest about acquiring poise must be on his guard against betraying himself under the magnetism of someone else’s gaze". This is an interesting concept, since it deals with the human desire to be "attractive" and well liked by others. Starke would have us withhold any revelation of our true selves, maintaining instead our outer worldly personas. Current self-help books would no-doubt take issue, suggesting instead that we "let it all hang out" and "be true to ourselves". Ha! All great insights into human social interaction!
After reading that I'm ready to take on the world.
I can now cross the street and puff my chest out as well as boast about how awesome I am :)
My kindle is my most prized possession. I treated myself to the newest and the best.
I have almost completed the entire works of HP Lovecraft.
Completed Poe and Clark Ashton Smith and R. E Howard.
Stuff 100 years old or so Is VERY cheap to download on Amazon :)